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Epicedium To A Broken Dream

from Era of Threnody by NARGAROTH

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about

We are often blind to signs that could warn us against impending harm. And it is a bitter fact that we tend to rethink perceived contradictions and warnings, so they fit what we want to believe and let us justify the misdemeanor of our counterpart. Loss never comes easy and often causes gloom. I never do drugs, pills or booze, nor do I seek help in a facility when I face deep depressions. This would stand against my confidence that we can only grow and develop when we face and overcome a tragedy with open eyes and an alerted mind. You don't grow when you numb your mind with medication and alter your inner reality. I always refused to take any kind of psycho-candy. Only by accepting the pain you learn something new, even when it sometimes feels like you cannot bear it anymore. In my darkest hours, I went into the desert, a place where according to (un)holy books prophets and holy men where cleansed and purged. I lingered at the spot where shards of glass like silent witnesses brought back mocking memories of an orphaned desert night. And I let the desert sun burn my skin as a punishment for my folly and that I may accept this fate humbly. One day, while I was sitting in the desert, staring into the reflections in shards underneath me, four horses passed by. When I stood up, they came up and stared at me. After a while, the white one came forward and pushed me gently. I included both scenarios into the lyrics, concretely and as a metaphor of the Four Horsemen.
The Cd booklet illustration of the song symbolizes the reversed path into nothingness and by its mirrored effect, the absolute disorientation that had befallen me. The Spanish poem that you find in English translation among the lyrics and which is recited in Spanish during the song is “Desolación” from Rosalía de Castro (1837- 1885).

lyrics

Unlike a jewel with brilliant fire,
beautiful, but without warmth,
the desert sun sears my skin
while my soul in turmoil goes astray.

(Spanish Poem Translation)
From my nightly mourning
my fateful angel knitted a heavy, thick veil.
Much denser than the shadows,
that in the deep abysses dwell.

Find the One that loves
the sorrows of your changing face.

Echoes stray – far away.

So I bide awhile and I long for the nightfall,
when all is calm and the dreams stand still.
I count the stars in the shards underneath me
and I shall suffer if it is thy will.

So I am sworn to the dreams that I follow
deep into grief or to grief amend.
Engage a war which is so easy to start
but yet impossible to end.

Lo! Th'sun burns my skin to cancer
Joshua trees admonish still
that I'm the only one here dying
feasting from my mourn so ill.

(Spanish Poem Translation)
I was denied the sun’s brightness.
Oh! I was denied the moon’s glow.
The hope ceased to light up
the wasteland of my conscience.

Thus, all, all has died for me.
My hours pass silently like wraiths.
I hear only the breath of oblivion shiver and fade.

credits

from Era of Threnody, released May 16, 2017
Nargaroth
Komponist: Brodträger
Textdichter: Wagner

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Nargaroth was founded 1996 in Saxony, East-Germany.

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